Posting a little Bzz on Filippo Berio

For those of you who don't know, I am a member of a site called BzzAgent (www.bzzagent.com), which deals with word of mouth marketing.  You will be invitied to campagins based on your likes and what fits best with you based on survey answers, and they send you bzzkits, which contains a free sample of the product, plus coupons to pass along to family and friends.

I recently was invitied to join their Filippo Berio Olive Oil Campaign.  I was excited to try this brand, because I do love to cook with olive oil, it is healthy for you, and well, I am Italian, olive oil is something we love to cook with!  I normally only buy the store brand though, because other brands are just too expensive.

The other night I have some chicken that was stuffed with aspargus that I had purchased at Fry's, and I drizzeled a little of the Filippo Berio on top.  The first thing I noticed was how think the oil was, not runny like the store brand.  Also, the flavor was so good, I could actually taste what real olive oil should taste like.  It is now my go to oil whenever I need to sautee some chicken or veggies, or just as a little dressing on a salad.

Happy Mother's Day

I took some time away from my blog, and really haven't spent much time lately on my actual laptop.  I check my emails and Facebook through my phone, but haven't had the motivation to get on here and blog, or play the games I normally like to play at night after my little one goes to bed.  I find that during the day, I get so busy taking care of my little one, that I don't have time to dwell on the grief I feel.  However, it is at nighttime, when everyone is asleep, my husband is at work, and I am all alone, that I just feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.  I feel the grief, and all I want to do is get under the covers and just be.  I don't feel like moving, sometimes I don't even want to watch TV.  Sleep is okay on some nights, so-so most of the time.  I'm also angry, at her.  I am angry she isn't here, I am angry that she died, I am angry that she left me.  Then I feel guilty for being so angry with her.  But I know that is all part of the stages you go through.  I have felt like I haven't been able to get past that.  I realized tonight I need to start writing here again, talk about  how I feel.  Keeping it all inside doesn't help, and won't help me get to the point of acceptance.

Tonight, though, on this first Mother's Day without Mom, I reflect on just how wonderful of a mother she was, and how much she taught me, and helped to shape me into the woman and mother I am today.  My mom was a mother young, at 18, and her and I grew up together.  She didn't know what she was doing, but she knew she loved me, and that was all she needed.  She raised me to be a person of strong character, strength, love, compassion, and respect.  A lot of times, people would call me "little mother", because as much as she mothered me, I mothered her right back.  I am just a natural care-taker, and I just always had the sense that I needed to take care of, that without me she wouldn't be able to survive.  I know this may sound silly, but I believe we did need each other to survive.  We had the perfect balance in our relationship, growing up she was my mother and I respected her, and I knew that if I was told not to do something, I better not do it because she would be good to her word on whatever the punishment might be.  But we were also friends, and as I become an adult, we became best friends.  I could tell her anything in the world, upsetting or embarrassing, and she would never judge me.  She just listened to me quietly while I rambled on, and then she'd offer up the best advice ever.  She never failed in making a bad situation better.  I could have lost everything in the world, and she would have known just what to say to make me calm and feel better.  She made sure that I had the best things, even is she had to scrimp and save for weeks or months in order for her to be able to get them for me.  She was also the most selfless person I have ever known.  She gave to others before she took for herself, and she would go without to make sure her family was taken care of.  Her sense of humor was awesome, her and I laughed all the time, and she had the weirdest quirks, but it made her unique.

I suppose it is very honest to say that the mother/daughter relationship we had was unique as well.  I wanted to be around here, all the time, I had no problem living with her and seeing her everyday.  We did everything together.  We'd spend hours together, only for me to go home and talk to her more on the phone, or computer.  I wish that everyone had the kind of relationship with their mother that I had with mine.  I feel badly for those who don't.  I'm not sure why we were as close as we were, perhaps because we grew up together.  I just know I'll never have that with anyone again.

Today we sent up a balloon to mom, we all wrote on it, the baby scribbled on it, and off it went to her.  It's just a small way to let her know how much we still love her, and always will.  Today I hugged my son, grateful that she taught me how to be a good mom, and glad that I can be here to continue on her legacy, teaching my son things she would have taught him, and making sure he never forgets just how wonderful his grandma was.

Happy Mother's Day Momma, I love you with all my heart.