Happy 3rd Birthday John!

While it isn't quite midnight yet here in Arizona, tomorrow, October 23rd, is John's 3rd birthday.  Today was his last day to be two, and I have to admit I felt a little sad about that.  He is growing so fast, and it seems as though time has just flown by.  I already feel as though I am forgetting little things he did as a newborn, and I find myself remembering today little noises he made, and the first time he smiled, rolled over, crawled, and took his first steps.

Today my son isn't so little anymore.  He is a very big boy, as he told me yesterday while eating dinner.  I asked if he needed help getting the pasta on his fork and he looked at me and said, "No, I'm a big boy".  Boy, isn't that the truth!  He is such a fun age now, where we can have little conversations, his sense of humor is coming through, along with his personality, and he is so smart and witty and funny! 

More then anything, though, I have come to realize this year just how much of a blessing this little boy has been not just in my life, but in the lives of everything who knows him.  It has been a very hard year for our family, but what made me get out of bed after everything I've been through, what made  me continue on with life and our daily routine, and put a smile on my face, was this sweet boy.  He didn't understand, and still doesn't understand, what we are going through and how we are grieving.  He just knows that he needs me to be mommy, no matter what.  He makes me laugh when all I want to do is cry, and he is helping to bring back that light in my life that went out when I lost Mom.  Without him, I would not be as strong as I am today.

My mom used to tell me how she was in love with me, and I really didn't understand how she could be in love with me until I become a mother myself.  Now, I understand what she meant by that.  You cannot help but fall totally in love with your child.  3 years ago I looked into his little eyes for the first time, and that was it: instant love.  Love that has grown everyday since.  At the time, he didn't know me, and I didn't know him, but we knew we needed each other.  I don't care if he is 3, or 30, he is always going to be my sweet baby boy.

Happy 3rd birthday John!  Mommy, Daddy, Papa, and everyone one else in your family loves you so much!!!