Say It Out Loud

Whenever my mom has a negative thought, my dad has always told her that you should never say those negative thoughts outloud, because what comes out of your mouth will become truth. If you speak the negative, the Devil hears you, and that negative happens.

Today, my dad and I were discussing my mom, and the current state of her health, and anxious about what the doctor will say to us tomorrow. It is so easy to go right to the negative, thinking of the ultimate choice that we might have to make and how we make it, instead of just going right to the positive. I belive the Devil works us, and puts these negative thoughts into our head to sabatoge us. He gets joy from watching us go through pain, and watching us endure tragedy. It's so easy for me to feel as though my mom is already gone from us, as though she will not pull through this current ordeal. So much is against her, so many things are ravaging her body, and I suppose we always go right to the negative in order to protect ourselves, so we can be completely prepared for it.

The Devil has been working on me hard, especially today. The negative thoughts clouded my judgement so much last night that I did not to bed until 6am, and then was up at 7:45a with my little one. That tiredness I was feeling, that mental exhaustion, just brought those negative thoughts even more into my head. I decided tonight, though, that enough is enough. I need to rebuke this Devil in the name of Jesus. I will not listen to those negative thoughts that try to creep into my head. I must think postive, and in order for the postive to happen, I must speak the postive out loud.

Tonight I pray for my mom. I have postive thoughts that she is going to pull through this, that her kidneys start working, she is able to start breathing on her own. That her body is healed by the grace of God through all of her infirmities, and that she comes home to us. Because I speak this out loud, I must feel in my heart that this will be truth. Tomorrow I go to the hospital to see her, and having to see her on a ventilator is not something I want to see again, nor would she want me to see her like that. But her and I need to have a private talk. I am going to sit down next to her bedside and speak to her so frankly. I am going to tell her that she is a warrior, a fighter. That she needs to work hard to fight the evil in her body and that she is going to come home to us and that we will have so much more time together. I know she is sedated, but I just have a feeling that whereever she is in her subconcious, she is going to hear me and know what I am telling her.

I say this outloud, therefore, it must come true.