Happy Birthday Baby John!!

Weighing in at 8lbs 9ozs, measuring 21 1/2 inches long, born by emergency c-section on October 23, 2009 at 4:15pm, please put your hands together for John Phillip Fry!!

Last Friday, I went into the doctor for my weekly fetal non-stress test and while I was hooked up to the fetal monitor they took my blood pressure, which was very high. It has been high throughout the pregnancy, but this was higher then it had ever been, and the doctor came in and told me she wanted me to be admitted until I had the baby because she felt it would be safer for me. When I asked if I would be having the baby that day, she said she thought it would either be that weekend or they would just have me wait until the 30th, which is when I had my original c-section scheduled. So off to the hospital we went, and they put me in the OB Triage to wait for the nurse to be in to get me all set up. Phil and I were in that room for about 5 minutes when the nurse came in and said that the doctor on duty set me up to have my c-section a few hours from then, and they were going to take me to labor and delivery to start getting me prepped. Phil and I just looked at each other like what!!?? It was a total surprise that it was going to be happening right then and there, because I thought for sure they were going to make me wait another week. So I called my mom to tell her and dad to get done there as soon as they can, and off to labor and delivery we went.

After getting prepped and my parents finally getting to the hospital, they had Phil dress in scrubs and took me off to the operating room to get the epidural and start the c-section. I have never been so nervous in my life, I was shaking like a leaf the entire time and nothing I could do could stop that. Luckily the epidural went in without any problems, and once I was laid down on the table and the medicine started kicking in, Phil was brought in to sit next to me. At 4:08pm they started and at 4:15pm John was born. He cried right away and my heart just soared and as soon as they brought him around the curtain and showed him to me I just started crying. He was perfect, and he was ours, and we had waited so long for him. Phil went right over to him and they had him cut the cord and since he was doing so well, they took him to recovery to weigh him and wait for me, and they sent Phil with them while they spent the next 45 minutes putting me back together. I was so impatient the entire time, I just wanted them to hurry up so I could get to recovery and see my baby boy.

In recovery, I was still shaking so bad, and the nurse told me that it is normal, it was just hormones from just having a baby, and it was so bad at first I wasn't able to hold John, but they brought him to me and I just couldn't believe how beautiful he was and that I did that. My family came in two at a time to see him and two hours later, I was transferred to my postpartum room and was finally able to really hold John and check him out, of course checking to make sure he had all his fingers and toes.

I was in the hospital for four days, and was able to come home Tuesday night. John is in perfect health and even though he seems to have his days and nights mixed up and Phil and I pretty much are running on a few hours sleep here and there, we couldn't be prouder of what we have created and the new family we now have. It seems so strange to me at times that I actually have a son. I guess I thought I would never have a child of my own, just like a never thought I would get married, but now I have a family of my own, we just moved into a nice and bigger apartment that allows John to have his own room, a dog that is still trying to figure out what the heck this little person is, and great family and friends that love me and support me along the way. I couldn't be more blessed.

Its Mindbottling

Last night I took a break from all my creepy Internet dating weirdos and went out see the movie Blades of Glory with Mindy.

Oh my holy fuck cow, this movie was hilarious!! I think I laughed through the entire thing! I love Will Ferrell and Jon Heder, and they definitely make a great team. I need to see this movie again, and when it comes out, I am definitely buying it!

Saw a few cute guys, of course they were either with someone, or there was a cute manager who smiled at Mindy and who I tried to chase after for her haha!!

As for boy news...no weirdos to report tonight. Jay wrote me tonight to tell me he is having a good time in San Francisco, which I thought was really nice, I didn't expect to hear from him. I still like him, a lot, and I wish that things could have worked out. We have so much in common, its crazy! Who knows, maybe it still will one of these days, I don't know. He's an amazing guy and he deserves all the best. At least we are still really good friends right now, and I do care about him, a lot.

There is also a guy that I have known for a few months, we've talked on and off, and last night he said he'd definitely wants to go out sometime. He said he's not looking for anything serious, just fun, but I have a feeling he might just be looking for a sex buddy and you know, I deserve better. I am worthy more then just some roll in the hay. So I am leery to go out with him, because I feel he might expect that. If he wants to go out and date and have some fun without pressure to jump into bed, then I am game, but there is just something in my gut that tells me not to get involved in that. Plus, I'm not sure if I am really feeling this whole dating thing. Maybe I need to just step back, get away from the weirdos and the guys who just want sex. I guess I am at the point in my life where I am looking for something real. I don't need a man in my life to make me feel complete, but I like companionship. I want to be with someone because they enhance my life. I have so much to offer, and I know what a catch I am. Its just a matter of finding someone who can appreciate that.

Who knows...

Thanks for not being a friend...

There are some people in this world that no matter what happens in your life, they will never be happy for you, because how dare you have something better then they do.

In my life, I have been given the short end of the stick in many ways. My health has never been the greatest, but I make up for that with a strong mind and a positive attitude. No need to sit around and complain and be depressed about things I can't change. I've been overlooked for a lot of things, I've been made to feel small. And when it comes to love, well, let's just say that's where my worst luck has been. I've had a knack for finding the men who either use me for whatever they can get, or stick with me just because they don't want to be alone, or who are amazing fucktards. I actually sort of resigned myself to the fact that when it comes to love, I will always be alone, and unhappy.

This has been a good week though. I found out a guy I liked for awhile likes me back and now we're together, and I am really happy about the whole thing. I'm not sure what's going to happen with it all, but for right now, I am just enjoying it day to day. Its been a really long time since I had someone actually like me for me and want to be with me because they want to be.

So, naturally, I would think my friends would be happy for me. Apparently, one isn't. A friend I've know for awhile, an online friend, felt the need to try and rain on my parade. I told her about what's been going on this week and how happy I was. Instead of saying she was happy for me, which is really all that needed to be said, she started giving me the third degree. "How do you know this is going to work?", "How do you know you really like him if you live in different states?", "Look at how your last long distance relationship went down, do you really want to do that again?". Oh, and my favorite, "It must be nice, having someone, nobody wants me"

Geez...of course nobody wants you when you so damn negative all the time! Never once have I known this person to be happy about anything! Its as though they live for the drama. And personally, I don't see any reason for there to be drama in anything in life. She made me feel like I didn't deserve this, I should unhappy just like her, so that I could sit at home and bitch about how the world has done me wrong.

I got offline with her quickly, because I didn't need anymore of her comments, and wasn't going to allow her to place a black cloud over my head. Funny how you learn who your true friends are when things are going good for you, and just how much jealously can rear its ugly head. I'm never one to flaunt my good fortunes in people's face, but I'm going to be as happy as I want to be and if it pissed her off even more, well, good. She can have her pity party somewhere else.