Your so vain....

You probably thought that blog was about you.....

Time to lay low for awhile....

I've done a lot of thinking tonight and I decided that I need to just lay low when it comes to the whole dating thing. I sort of jumped into it again, without really feeling it. I'm not sure, I suppose because I miss companionship, I miss having someone to go do things with, I miss the company of a man.

The problem is number one, I've come across nothing but guys with weirdo sexual fetishes or just want to hook up for sex, or who just generally give me a bad feeling. I just don't have the time or the patience to deal with it.

My second problem is that my interest is elsewhere, or I should say, on someone else. And frankly, I just don't want to go out with anyone right now. I have no idea if anything would ever happen again with this person, but right now, this person is on my mind a lot. And I'm pretty sure he knows I am still interested, and I sort of have the feeling he's still interested too. But sometimes its just not the right time, for whatever reasons, which I don't need to discuss here.

So I've taken my ad off these sites, and I am going to do something I haven't done in awhile, which is focus on myself and what makes me happy. There's so much I want to do, places I want to go, I need to get myself out of the house more, spend time with friends. Friday night I had so much fun with Mindy, I felt good and I was in a state of happy that I haven't been in for a long time, and it felt good. I need to get back to that.

When its meant for me to meet the right person, then it will happen. But right now, I feel good about this decision, really good. I deserve love and happiness and to be with someone who will treat me with kindness and respect. And I will find that, eventually. Right now though, I'm happy with it just being me.

Its Mindbottling

Last night I took a break from all my creepy Internet dating weirdos and went out see the movie Blades of Glory with Mindy.

Oh my holy fuck cow, this movie was hilarious!! I think I laughed through the entire thing! I love Will Ferrell and Jon Heder, and they definitely make a great team. I need to see this movie again, and when it comes out, I am definitely buying it!

Saw a few cute guys, of course they were either with someone, or there was a cute manager who smiled at Mindy and who I tried to chase after for her haha!!

As for boy news...no weirdos to report tonight. Jay wrote me tonight to tell me he is having a good time in San Francisco, which I thought was really nice, I didn't expect to hear from him. I still like him, a lot, and I wish that things could have worked out. We have so much in common, its crazy! Who knows, maybe it still will one of these days, I don't know. He's an amazing guy and he deserves all the best. At least we are still really good friends right now, and I do care about him, a lot.

There is also a guy that I have known for a few months, we've talked on and off, and last night he said he'd definitely wants to go out sometime. He said he's not looking for anything serious, just fun, but I have a feeling he might just be looking for a sex buddy and you know, I deserve better. I am worthy more then just some roll in the hay. So I am leery to go out with him, because I feel he might expect that. If he wants to go out and date and have some fun without pressure to jump into bed, then I am game, but there is just something in my gut that tells me not to get involved in that. Plus, I'm not sure if I am really feeling this whole dating thing. Maybe I need to just step back, get away from the weirdos and the guys who just want sex. I guess I am at the point in my life where I am looking for something real. I don't need a man in my life to make me feel complete, but I like companionship. I want to be with someone because they enhance my life. I have so much to offer, and I know what a catch I am. Its just a matter of finding someone who can appreciate that.

Who knows...

Announcing Weirdo #3

After this....I am just speechless. There isn't even much I can say....the email speaks for itself. Apparently this guy thinks I am over 60...and well...hahahaha...there are just no words....I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!

I know you are older than I , and I know alot of women have strong feelings about age differences of the fact that I am black and you are white.

If you can put aside theses diffences, and if you truly believe that the inside is far more important than the outside.then you are the tpye of person that I would like to know .

I understand friends first, and then we see what wants.But besides that, I am looking for someone who likes to travel go to social events, etc...the things you see in the phoenix new times or get out magazines.

I normally go to this functions, for my business, but there is no reason who someone else can not enjoy these events.

If you are tired of sitting at home, or you want to meet new friends, or even better yet...help me with some of my community outreach projects...all the better.

but all that is extra, I like to meet great people in general, and we can do great things together...the inter net allows us to talk and meet in private, and plan on the great things we want to do...

let me know if you are interested...

if you are not you do not need to e-mail to tell me no.

Actions speak louder than words...

You can see pictures of my art work or I can send them to you...

Also you will see what I mean as bottomheavy, or i can send pictures...

And no, before you ask , I do not know these women, they are pictures from a public bbw site at yahoo groups.I had to find the pictures because women have some funny views of themselves.

they all seem to think that they are bottom heavy, and they are not even close...this has happened so many times, that i had to show them the pictures...

anyway, i believe all people are important. All. and the inside is far more important than the outside. Period

............................................................
e-mail sbmphx@yahoo.comvoicemail
(602) 790-1314
I would like you to leave me a voice mail, if you are interested in meeting or talking, leave a number and I will call you back
............................................................

This is what women put in their ads

I'm an attractive, bubbly, honest, fun, and down to earth girl with a positive attitude about life in general. I love to try different restaurants, movies, occasional nights on the town, almost anything outdoors such as swimming, boating, camping/fishing. I also like to snuggle on the couch with a great movie, with a bowl of popcorn and candles. I am an excellent cook and love to do it. I am as comfortable in jeans and t-shirt, as I am dressed to the max. I would like to find a guy who is honest, trustworthy and knows how to treat a lady. Someone as faithful as I am. It would be great to get to know each other so well, that we didn't even have to tell the other what we're feeling, but that we'd already know. I am a good person and would like to meet the same. Drop me a line and let's see what we have in common!
.......................................................

since you have read up to this point, I will assume that you are interested....

I am looking for a woman who wants a black lover.

I am looking for a woman who wants a long term , commmiteed loving relationship...who wants sex.

no I am not looking for a one night stand, nor just sex, nor do I want to treat you like a slut...you are not a slut...you are not a lonely desperate woman, looking for love...you are a woman who simply says yes , without guilt.yes

I know you want to be safe, and no I do not want your money...wwhat I want money can not buy

I want you to say yes, or at least maybe...

You can do a background check and i will give you references, so you can feel safe...

No i do not want you to jump in bed with me on the first date....we can date first, we can go out to swap meets, antigue malls, social events...

we can appear to be lovers to the public, or i can just appear to be you computer tutor...you can tell people what ever you like...i know the need to keeping up appearances...you have friends, children, and grand kids....you are mom...I understand.

but I want you to say yes, and even on the first date, I will want you you wear a dress, with no underwear, i will be a gentleman, and ask for your permission, but i will want to put mt hands under your dress, and between your legs to feel how wet you are, and even on the first date I will want to rub and kiss between your legs to see how long it takes before you climax and come all over my hand...this will allow me to see how much you want it....

If we decide to see each other or spend time together, I will want to see you at least two times a week...during the weekday and on any day on the weekend...

i will want to spend the night, so I can rub you butt and kiss you all over, all night long...

i will want to give you my sperm...We can stay at my place or at your place...you can come to my place at any time, that way you can see for yourself that I am not sleeping with other women...I have always had the abilty to find the women who want and need sex...but i like to be honest and up front and not hide anything...

you will have proof that you are the only one, and that I am not sleeping around...in return you will let me have it...i like to fuck your pussy, with you on top or from behind, or just get on top of you at any time, to give you all the sperm that i got....i hope you are not offended by all this talk...but i want to be honest...

what happened to my last girlfriend, she is having family trouble, and has gone back east to solve the crisis...she broke up before she left...the same is true with the girl friend before her...so you can see i did not leave them...they enjoyed the sex, but now their minds are on more important things....

i did not pick up out of a hat, I sent this e-mail to all the women who were over 60 on this website....i can show you what they said...those who wrote me back...I kept all the e-mail...

Let me know if you are interestedby saying in your e-mail...

" yes, I want a black lover..."

we will meet and talk ,and then see if we want to spend any time together...hope to hear from you soon...

Andrew

Bring on Weirdo #2

In the second installment of Kim's Adventure's in Dating...I bring you...Weirdo #2!

The guy lives in Los Angeles, which right away I am unsure about talking to him. Not because I have a problem with Los Angeles, after all, I was born in California, but because I don't really want to get myself into a long distance relationship. They are hard, if you don't know the person, or there is no chance your going to be able to spend any time together. There are definitely some circumstances where I would do a long distance thing, but going into something blindly, eh, no thanks. I've been burned too badly on that before.

Anyway...he says he is coming out here to Phoenix in a few months for work, which automatically sends up a flag that he's looking for someone for sex while he's in town.

His next comment was how much he loved my smile, and how he is physically attracted to me. Ok, well the compliment on my smile was nice, but how on earthy can you really be physically attracted to someone you have never even met before, and all you have seen in one or two pictures? But let's continue....

Next, he decides to tell me he loves a women, "who has a big butt and big boobs, that really gets me hot". Granted, I may have a big butt, and my boobs, well I don't think they are that big, but they are a good size. I just don't need some guy lusting after my ass and tits, especially a guy I've only known for 5 minutes.

So, we banter back and forth, on my part, mostly for entertainment value, because I knew he was going to be some good material for my blog. Does that make me sound like a bitch?? I'm really not trying to be, but I figure there's other's like me going through the same thing, why not compare notes! Plus, come on, you know its good for a few laughs.

Anyway, after some casual banter, Weirdo #2 decides to announce, out of the blue, "My dick is 6in hard, thick as a toliet paper roll, and uncircumsized."

So my first thought was....

Which made me laugh....I mean, I know he was talking about the actual cardboard roll, but can you image a guy packing something like this in his pants! Hahahahaha!

After this blunt comment, he asks for my dress size and bra size. It was at this point I had to block him.

I guess the one thing I should be grateful for is the fact that these guys are definitely honest about who they are and what they are looking for, no matter how weird or bizzare. It just amazes me, these people are out there everyday, walking around among us. And we have no idea.

In the meantime, I am getting ready to leave here in about 20 minutes to head out with Mindy to the movies, and who knows what else. So who knows, maybe I'll meet a cute boy...or two...

Wish me luck!!!

Weirdo #1

The most interesting thing about doing the whole online dating scene, is the weirdos that cross your path, especially the weirdo disguised as a nice guy, then drops what I like to call the "weirdo bombshell" on you.

So, as you know, I put myself out on a few dating sites that I have used in the past, because from experience I have met a few nice people off them.

First off, let me say, this whole online dating thing, sort of feels like an interview process for me. You meet someone and then you talk, either via IM or email, and its basically interviewing them to see if they are worthy of your time. And you always have to keep you eyes open, and really pay attention to what they say and how they act.

Now, I'm going back into the dating thing, not looking for something serious right away. I actually just want to just have some fun, find someone to hang out with, and if it builds to more, great, if not, then I made a new friend.

So, potential suitor number 1, or as I like to call, Weirdo #1, already had warning signs going off when he started mentioning right away that he was looking for marriage. And not down the road, but soon. I want to get married, but not right now! He started in with questions, asking if I wanted kids, and if I would be happy being a stay at home mom and not working and letting the man provide for me.

Ummm....aren't you getting a letting ahead of youself, buddy?

Anyway, I keep chatting, because frankly, he was quite entertaining, and I needed a good laugh. But then, the creepiness came out. He decided to annouce that he was a virgin, a 29 year old virgin, waiting for marriage before giving over his "special gift".

Ahhhh....this explains the rush to get married!

He then went into saying that his ex girlfriend did get him into something kinky. Now, being he's a virgin, I had to wonder, what sort of kinky thing could he be into, when he said he's never touched a women in a sexual way.....me and my big mouth....

Apparently, his ex girlfriend used to invite some guy over and they would have sex while this guy sat in the corner and did nothing but watched. And sometimes these two would have sex while he was in another room. He said he liked watching his girlfriend have sex with someone and watching her be so turned on.

Uhhh....yeah....I HAD to open my mouth......

Of course, this lead him to ask if I had ever done anything like that, to which the answer was a resounding NO, and he then had the nerve to ask if I would do that for him, ya know, if we become involved.

Oh, brother!

So I told this guy that was not my cup of tea and that perhaps he needs to look elsewhere because I am not interested. And then I promptly blocked him.

I just had to laugh! I know that this turns some people on, but give me a break! It was clear by the way he was talking this guy wasn't a virgin, he was just some perv who wants to sit in a corner and jerk it. Instead of porn on tv, he wants real life porn.

So, I am sure, out there somewhere, is a guy who no issues or weird sexual fetishes. But such is the internet, you never know what your going to find. So the search continues...but at least I can use my dating adventures for blogging entertainment!

I can't date you, because your not wheelchair accessible

I was told tonight, by a friend of a friend, that he personally could never date a girl like me, a girl in a chair, because it wouldn't look right for an able-bodied person to date "a girl like me, ya know, in a chair".

You know, I've heard this line before, but it never fails to surprise me just how intolerant and judgemental people can be. God forbid someone be a little different from them.

I know who I am, and I know what I have to offer. And all of those people who have overlooked me, or who have said I wasn't the right one for them, well they are the ones who have lost out, because they passed up the chance to be with a really wonderful girl who would treat them with the respect and love they are looking for. And I hope when they think about it, they realize I am definitely one who got away.

Maybe that sounds like I am thinking too highly of myself, but its about time I give myself the credit that's been due. I am tired of thinking that no one will want me because I am in a chair, because that's already been proven that's not true. And I am not going to waste my time listening to bullshit like this guy was spewing, and even waste my time getting upset over it. The old me, I would have been devastated hearing something like that, I would automatically turned cynical and assume this person was right, and why bother even trying to put myself out there. But not this new Kim, this girl knows what she's worth, and she will no longer let anyone treat her like she is small or unworthy of love and attention. I am tired of being ignored and overlooked, I am tired of feeling afraid of putting my heart out there, and tired being afraid of getting hurt. I am a confident women in every other aspect of my life, and its about time I become confident about this.