I'm old

Yes, you heard me correctly...I am old. Why else would I be home on a Saturday night, at 10pm, bored and sleepy, and seriously contemplating going to bed.

Do you even know how long its been since I have been to bed at 10pm!? I can't even remember!

I was thinking tonight, back when I was in my early 20's, around 22 and 23. At the time I had a great job with some really cool people I worked with, and my boyfriend at the time and I used to go out with them to happy hour and such during the weekends, and just live it up! I have never been a drinker, but that didn't matter, I was out there and I was having fun. Those were Kimbo's party days, I suppose. I would be out until 1 or 2am, sometimes later, we'd go from bar to bar, I'd get a kick out of being the only sober one watching everyone else get drunk off their ass. I'd be out there on the dance floor shakin' my groove thing and making an ass out of myself, which I do quite well. I was young and free, and really didn't have much care in the world.

Now, I am almost 28 years old, and those Kimbo partying days are long over. Not that I don't like to live it up and have fun, trust me, no matter what it is I am doing, its going to be entertaining. But, life has definitely taken its twists and turns. I am not as young and naive as I once was. Responsibility has set in. I've become more cynical about certain things. I find that sitting at home, curled up in bed with a good book or movie has become more appealing to me then a night out on the town. When I do go out, I find myself yawning around 9-10pm, like some granny who needs to get her shuteye.

I'd like to be going out and doing more things, there is so much of life I want to experience, so many things I want to do. But trying to get people to do those things, well, its difficult. My friends all have jobs and families, and those things take priority. And I find that I don't want to do things alone as much as I used to. I miss companionship. Sometimes I feel trapped in house, like I am watching life pass me by, and I feel like I am missing out on so much. Tonight I wish I was out, seeing a movie or having dinner with friends, going to see a concert or the symphony. That's what I need right now. In a way, I feel like I have lost my spark...my mojo...whatever you want to call it. I'm a pretty fun and fiesty girl, I laugh loud, smile big, I bring out that same kind of fun in the people I am with. I need to reconnect with that girl again.

But for now, I yawn, and closing this laptop and settling into dreamland seems like a good idea. Goodnight.