I hope you all had a happy and safe Memorial Day weekend!
As for me, I didn't do a damn thing all weekend long, although I did finally get everything watched on my tivo, that was an accomplishment all by itself!
I did go out to the movies and dinner with Mindy on Friday. We saw the movie "Georgia Rule" and here is a Kimbo Rule: Don't see this movie. It was just weird and strange, and Lindsay Lohan basically plays a bitch, which means she was playing herself, so the role wasn't that big of a stretch for her.
I didn't get to see Phil this weekend, he had to go into work, but its ok because I get to spend the whole day with him today. Things are still going really well for us, except I've been thinking about weddings and how much they cost and trying not to get stressed out since I definitely don't come from money and everything wedding-related is all money, money, money. I want us to have a nice day, nothing fancy or elaborate, just a day to celebrate our love with our close family and friends. And we want to get married on May 9th of next year, since thats the day we first met. Which means we really should start looking for a place to book now, so we know we have that day. I see now why people hire wedding planners! But I am not going to worry about things, I am just going to enjoy being engaged. And Sunday there is a bridal expo downtown that we are going to, we're going to enter every contest and get all the information we can. That should be a lot of fun, I've never been to something like that before, and now I finally have a reason to go!
Ok, off to get ready for my day! Until next time!
About Me
- Kimbo Central
- San Tan Valley, AZ, United States
- A wife and mommy to a beautiful three year old son, blogging about being a mommy, and taking care of my family.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Thursday, May 24, 2007
Here Comes The Kimbo
So remember all those times, in my past blogs, were I said I was never going to find someone, I was never going to get married, or have a family, and I had just resigned myself to being alone for the rest of my life.
Well, I take it all back....
Sunday night, I was talking to Phil on yahoo, as usual, when he popped the question. Yes, that question, "Kim, will you marry me?" And he was completely serious. We had talked about marriage before, and at first, I told him we should probably wait, mainly out of my own fear of being rejected so many times, that I had some of my guard up left, trying to protect myself. But even then, I wanted to say yes. When he asked on Sunday, there was no hesitation, no doubts, no thinking what if it doesn't work out. The first thing that came out was "Yes".
So, its official, we are engaged! And another surprise, as much as he tried to keep it a secret yesterday (although his sly grin kept giving it away), was that he picked out a ring for me, all on his own, and it should be here next week. He says then he'll do a proper proposal, down on one knee, of course I won't know when or where. But he told me the day he gets the ring, he needs to see me. I can't wait.
Now, before you ask when the wedding is, we're going to wait for about a year. That gives us time to start easing into living together, keep learning more about each other, and make sure everything is in place so that when we do get married, we are ready to start our lives together.
Ring or not, I love that man to pieces. And trust me, I've heard all the comments from "Congratulations" to "You've only known each other for 2 weeks!". But that doesn't matter. Its what's in our hearts, and how we feel about each other that matters. He's proved over and over again that he is in this for the long haul, that with me is where he wants to be. Each time we spend the day together, I learn more and more about him, and see new sides of him, that make me fall in love with him all over again. Simple things like the way he looks into my eyes, or the way he sings to me when we're listening to the radio in the car, or when we're sitting in front of our Starbucks hangout, to the way he cares so much about making sure I am taken care. Its those things that I have always wanted in a man, and he possess all those qualities, and then some. It is as though God has finally answered the prayer I have been praying the most, to bring into my life the right man for me, who will accept me and love me for who I am as a person. I am not sure what I did to deserve him, but now that I have him, my life has been enhanced in such a way, that I can't even fully explain. He makes my world a brighter place, and all the bad I have gone through, relationship-wise, has suddenly turned into a distant memory. I just hope that I can always make him as happy as he makes me.
Well, I take it all back....
Sunday night, I was talking to Phil on yahoo, as usual, when he popped the question. Yes, that question, "Kim, will you marry me?" And he was completely serious. We had talked about marriage before, and at first, I told him we should probably wait, mainly out of my own fear of being rejected so many times, that I had some of my guard up left, trying to protect myself. But even then, I wanted to say yes. When he asked on Sunday, there was no hesitation, no doubts, no thinking what if it doesn't work out. The first thing that came out was "Yes".
So, its official, we are engaged! And another surprise, as much as he tried to keep it a secret yesterday (although his sly grin kept giving it away), was that he picked out a ring for me, all on his own, and it should be here next week. He says then he'll do a proper proposal, down on one knee, of course I won't know when or where. But he told me the day he gets the ring, he needs to see me. I can't wait.
Now, before you ask when the wedding is, we're going to wait for about a year. That gives us time to start easing into living together, keep learning more about each other, and make sure everything is in place so that when we do get married, we are ready to start our lives together.
Ring or not, I love that man to pieces. And trust me, I've heard all the comments from "Congratulations" to "You've only known each other for 2 weeks!". But that doesn't matter. Its what's in our hearts, and how we feel about each other that matters. He's proved over and over again that he is in this for the long haul, that with me is where he wants to be. Each time we spend the day together, I learn more and more about him, and see new sides of him, that make me fall in love with him all over again. Simple things like the way he looks into my eyes, or the way he sings to me when we're listening to the radio in the car, or when we're sitting in front of our Starbucks hangout, to the way he cares so much about making sure I am taken care. Its those things that I have always wanted in a man, and he possess all those qualities, and then some. It is as though God has finally answered the prayer I have been praying the most, to bring into my life the right man for me, who will accept me and love me for who I am as a person. I am not sure what I did to deserve him, but now that I have him, my life has been enhanced in such a way, that I can't even fully explain. He makes my world a brighter place, and all the bad I have gone through, relationship-wise, has suddenly turned into a distant memory. I just hope that I can always make him as happy as he makes me.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Illegal Shrek Watching
Last night Phil and I went and saw Shrek 3. My mom had two free movie passes, of course, with those you can't see a special engagement. So we got two tickets to see Wild Hogs, which has been out for awhile, and then we waited until the manager let in all the people who were waiting to see Shrek, and then we just went right in and sat. Yes...our first illegal activity! LOL
After the movie we went over to what has now become our hangout, in front of Starbucks over where the AMC Mesa Grand movie theater is. There are tables outside and we like to sit there and people watch and talk and just spend time together. It's those times, when we are just hanging out, that are the most special and the most fun.
While we were talking, he mentioned how his apartment complex has handicap accessible apartments, with bigger doorways and a accessible bathroom, and he told me that he had gone yesterday to look at it, and he was going to get it next month when he moves downstairs so that basically I will not only be comfortable and be able to get around, but he wants me to eventually move in there with him. He calls it our apartment. He was also telling me about a van he wants to get so that I am able to get in and go anywhere I want without needing help. I just sat there, looking at him talk about these things, seeing how excited he was about finding these ways to make things accessible to me, and starting our life together and it just made me tear up. Never have a felt so loved, and so wanted. When I look into his eyes, I see his sincerity, and I see and feel the love he has for me. It isn't a game, it isn't a joke, he's in this, for the long haul, good times and bad. We fit together in a way I've never been with anyone I've ever dated before.
I am still not sure how I got so lucky. I must have been doing something right. I guess it was just our time to find each other.
After the movie we went over to what has now become our hangout, in front of Starbucks over where the AMC Mesa Grand movie theater is. There are tables outside and we like to sit there and people watch and talk and just spend time together. It's those times, when we are just hanging out, that are the most special and the most fun.
While we were talking, he mentioned how his apartment complex has handicap accessible apartments, with bigger doorways and a accessible bathroom, and he told me that he had gone yesterday to look at it, and he was going to get it next month when he moves downstairs so that basically I will not only be comfortable and be able to get around, but he wants me to eventually move in there with him. He calls it our apartment. He was also telling me about a van he wants to get so that I am able to get in and go anywhere I want without needing help. I just sat there, looking at him talk about these things, seeing how excited he was about finding these ways to make things accessible to me, and starting our life together and it just made me tear up. Never have a felt so loved, and so wanted. When I look into his eyes, I see his sincerity, and I see and feel the love he has for me. It isn't a game, it isn't a joke, he's in this, for the long haul, good times and bad. We fit together in a way I've never been with anyone I've ever dated before.
I am still not sure how I got so lucky. I must have been doing something right. I guess it was just our time to find each other.
Friday, May 18, 2007
So this is what love feels like
Phil and I went out yesterday. We hadn't seen each other since Sunday, but we talk everyday. We first had to make a stop to get a chair lift put on my van. For those who have gone out with me, you know I have a van ramp that is a total pain in the ass to use, so I finally said enough is enough and bought a lift for the back, which makes life so much easier for the people who have to help me. After the guy installed it, he was back there showing Phil how to use it. I was sitting in the car, looking back there, and watching him learn and ask questions, and genuinely wanting to know to do it right. There isn't a lot of men out there these days who would take the time for such things, and really care. It showed to me that he really is in this for the long haul. He was all excited that he learned how to use it and when I asked him why, he said its something that he's going to need to do for me for and he wants to make sure he can help me anyway he can.
After that appointment we went over to the mall, since the weather is so unbearable during the day, and ate and shopped around for a few hours. I noticed that both he and I were acting more like ourselves, me being totally silly and goofy, and he is very much the same. As much as Sunday was a perfect day, yesterday it was like we were just like a couple whose known each other for years. After the mall we went over and got some ice cream and he told me all about his job, and what he plans on doing in the future to move up in his career. We really just connect on every level.
We even talked a lot about how we feel, about each other, and this relationship. I know a lot of people think we're crazy for feeling the way we do about each other, and I know a lot of people don't want to see me get hurt, and I appreciate that. But with Phil, it just clicks, in a way that I've never felt with anyone else. There are no red flags or warning signs, no bad gut feelings. I've had infatuation before, and this is not it. He said last night, that he can't explain it, he just knows that with me, it is where he is supposed to be. And I feel the same way. We've both been through the same heartache, and heartbreak. We've met weirdos and we'd given up hope that we'd even find love. And its funny how at the same time we decided to just give up, we found each other. They say that there is a right person for everyone, seems like it was finally our time. As much as we'd have liked to meet sooner, we realize that this is the perfect time, because we've been through hell and back and we can appreciate what we have. There is no need to go out and see if anything better comes along. It is totally new to both us of, but its great. When I am with him, I just feel complete. He's what I have been looking for. When we're together, its like there is no one else around but just the two of us.
It also came to my attention today from a friend that I haven't talked a lot about him, and what he does, so I will give you some background info. He is 28, soon to be 29 in August. He is a lead carpenter and works for a construction company. He lives alone, has his own apartment, but when his lease is up he plans on getting a home of his own. He was married for two years, been divorced for the past two years, and has no kids. We met on a site called singlesnet, where I've been fortunate enough to meet a few great people from. He's mature, very responsible, funny, compassionate, sweet, and just everything I've been looking for.
Speaking of which, I need to get ready, we're going out tonight, hopefully to a movie. But I really don't care what we do, as long as I get to spend time with him.
After that appointment we went over to the mall, since the weather is so unbearable during the day, and ate and shopped around for a few hours. I noticed that both he and I were acting more like ourselves, me being totally silly and goofy, and he is very much the same. As much as Sunday was a perfect day, yesterday it was like we were just like a couple whose known each other for years. After the mall we went over and got some ice cream and he told me all about his job, and what he plans on doing in the future to move up in his career. We really just connect on every level.
We even talked a lot about how we feel, about each other, and this relationship. I know a lot of people think we're crazy for feeling the way we do about each other, and I know a lot of people don't want to see me get hurt, and I appreciate that. But with Phil, it just clicks, in a way that I've never felt with anyone else. There are no red flags or warning signs, no bad gut feelings. I've had infatuation before, and this is not it. He said last night, that he can't explain it, he just knows that with me, it is where he is supposed to be. And I feel the same way. We've both been through the same heartache, and heartbreak. We've met weirdos and we'd given up hope that we'd even find love. And its funny how at the same time we decided to just give up, we found each other. They say that there is a right person for everyone, seems like it was finally our time. As much as we'd have liked to meet sooner, we realize that this is the perfect time, because we've been through hell and back and we can appreciate what we have. There is no need to go out and see if anything better comes along. It is totally new to both us of, but its great. When I am with him, I just feel complete. He's what I have been looking for. When we're together, its like there is no one else around but just the two of us.
It also came to my attention today from a friend that I haven't talked a lot about him, and what he does, so I will give you some background info. He is 28, soon to be 29 in August. He is a lead carpenter and works for a construction company. He lives alone, has his own apartment, but when his lease is up he plans on getting a home of his own. He was married for two years, been divorced for the past two years, and has no kids. We met on a site called singlesnet, where I've been fortunate enough to meet a few great people from. He's mature, very responsible, funny, compassionate, sweet, and just everything I've been looking for.
Speaking of which, I need to get ready, we're going out tonight, hopefully to a movie. But I really don't care what we do, as long as I get to spend time with him.
Monday, May 14, 2007
The best first date ever!
Ok, so I know you all want details of my date yesterday, and I would have blogged about it last night, but seeing as I left my house at 10am and didn't get home until 1am, you have a pretty good idea so far how the date went. But details are what you want, and its details you shall have!
The whole way to his house I kept telling myself something is going to go wrong, he's not going to be who he's portrayed himself to be, he's going to be a weirdo, basically the same old typical Kimbo thoughts. The minute I saw him though, and he got in the car and smiled at me, those feelings went away. My intuition wasn't picking up any bad feelings, in fact, it felt as though I've known him for years, and this was just another day.
We went across the way to the grocery store to buy some sandwiches and chips and drinks to put in his cooler, since we were going to have a picnic once we got up to Prescott. The moment came where I had to tell him how to do my ramp, and he did it with no problem whatsoever, he even said it wasn't a big deal to him. He brings my chair over to me, starts to walk back to put the ramps away and stops and says, "I forgot something". He comes back over to me, looks into my eyes, and then gives me the sweetest kiss. When he pulled away from the kiss he ran his fingers through my hair and said, "My God, you are so beautiful". Talk about melt!
We go in to store and get what we need, and when we got to the register I offered to pay and he told me no. Once back to the car, he came over to kiss me again and he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, and it was as though I just fit, as though I was made to be there.
The two-hour drive north to Prescott was beautiful, and we talked the entire way, about everything and anything. And Prescott was beautiful, the weather was fantastic and there was a huge arts and crafts fair and the courthouse courtyard, so we walked around there and took in everything. We eventually found a place to sit, where we could watch a gun show going on, and the whole time we just sat there, his arm around mine, a kiss here and there. It was as though, he is the person I am meant to spend my life with. And we were talking about that, and how crazy we were to feel this way, and he said he just knew, something told him not to be afraid of this, that this is what you've been looking for. He looked into my eyes, and I could see the feelings and the emotions he had. I am a very good judge if someone is lying, because their eyes will give it away, and there was no trace of that. As he looked into my eyes he told me I was amazing, that he knew he was meant to spend the rest of his life with me, he couldn't describe what he was feeling, but he knew that his search was over. He then kissed me and said, "I am so in love you". He even got a little teary when he told me this, even though he tried to hide it. I looked at him, and the first thought in my head was "Oh my God, I love him too". And I told him. And he asked me to be his girlfriend, which of course, I said yes.
Now...you know how cynical and jaded I am when it comes to love. But it feels right. And yeah, maybe we've only known each other for five days, but it is like nothing I have never felt before in my life. Its just natural, its like I've known him for years. Everything he is, everything he says, how he acts, how he looks at me, its as thought finally answered my prayers. He is what I have been looking for, and I am not sure how I got so lucky, but I guess, it was just our time. I've always heard, when you know, you know. And that's how we both feel. And I know he's sincere.
We spent the entire day up there, and didn't leave until 7pm. The drive home was nice, we talked more, about our families, about things we want to do together. We definitely agreed there is no rush whatsoever, there is still so much to learn about each other, and we are looking forward to all that.
After we got back to town, it was after 10pm, so we went over to a Starbucks that was open and just sat and talked more. The things he says to me, the way he looks at me, I feel like I am the only women in the world. Even up in Prescott, with tons of people around, I felt like it was just me and him there. This is such a new feeling, and I am not sure what to do with it. I feel like I should be trying to make this work in some way, trying to do something, but everything just comes naturally. This isn't forced.
I took him home around 12:30, 14 hours later! We hated saying goodbye, but we know we're going to see each other in a few days. When I got home, he was waiting online to make sure I got home ok, and we talked about how wonderful the day was.
I know some of you probably think I am crazy, and you know what, it is crazy! Its is the craziest thing I have ever done! I am usually so guarded with my heart, and I just have to no problem giving it to him. And if I do end up getting hurt one day, well then, at least I had this experience.
The whole way to his house I kept telling myself something is going to go wrong, he's not going to be who he's portrayed himself to be, he's going to be a weirdo, basically the same old typical Kimbo thoughts. The minute I saw him though, and he got in the car and smiled at me, those feelings went away. My intuition wasn't picking up any bad feelings, in fact, it felt as though I've known him for years, and this was just another day.
We went across the way to the grocery store to buy some sandwiches and chips and drinks to put in his cooler, since we were going to have a picnic once we got up to Prescott. The moment came where I had to tell him how to do my ramp, and he did it with no problem whatsoever, he even said it wasn't a big deal to him. He brings my chair over to me, starts to walk back to put the ramps away and stops and says, "I forgot something". He comes back over to me, looks into my eyes, and then gives me the sweetest kiss. When he pulled away from the kiss he ran his fingers through my hair and said, "My God, you are so beautiful". Talk about melt!
We go in to store and get what we need, and when we got to the register I offered to pay and he told me no. Once back to the car, he came over to kiss me again and he wrapped his arms around me and held me tight, and it was as though I just fit, as though I was made to be there.
The two-hour drive north to Prescott was beautiful, and we talked the entire way, about everything and anything. And Prescott was beautiful, the weather was fantastic and there was a huge arts and crafts fair and the courthouse courtyard, so we walked around there and took in everything. We eventually found a place to sit, where we could watch a gun show going on, and the whole time we just sat there, his arm around mine, a kiss here and there. It was as though, he is the person I am meant to spend my life with. And we were talking about that, and how crazy we were to feel this way, and he said he just knew, something told him not to be afraid of this, that this is what you've been looking for. He looked into my eyes, and I could see the feelings and the emotions he had. I am a very good judge if someone is lying, because their eyes will give it away, and there was no trace of that. As he looked into my eyes he told me I was amazing, that he knew he was meant to spend the rest of his life with me, he couldn't describe what he was feeling, but he knew that his search was over. He then kissed me and said, "I am so in love you". He even got a little teary when he told me this, even though he tried to hide it. I looked at him, and the first thought in my head was "Oh my God, I love him too". And I told him. And he asked me to be his girlfriend, which of course, I said yes.
Now...you know how cynical and jaded I am when it comes to love. But it feels right. And yeah, maybe we've only known each other for five days, but it is like nothing I have never felt before in my life. Its just natural, its like I've known him for years. Everything he is, everything he says, how he acts, how he looks at me, its as thought finally answered my prayers. He is what I have been looking for, and I am not sure how I got so lucky, but I guess, it was just our time. I've always heard, when you know, you know. And that's how we both feel. And I know he's sincere.
We spent the entire day up there, and didn't leave until 7pm. The drive home was nice, we talked more, about our families, about things we want to do together. We definitely agreed there is no rush whatsoever, there is still so much to learn about each other, and we are looking forward to all that.
After we got back to town, it was after 10pm, so we went over to a Starbucks that was open and just sat and talked more. The things he says to me, the way he looks at me, I feel like I am the only women in the world. Even up in Prescott, with tons of people around, I felt like it was just me and him there. This is such a new feeling, and I am not sure what to do with it. I feel like I should be trying to make this work in some way, trying to do something, but everything just comes naturally. This isn't forced.
I took him home around 12:30, 14 hours later! We hated saying goodbye, but we know we're going to see each other in a few days. When I got home, he was waiting online to make sure I got home ok, and we talked about how wonderful the day was.
I know some of you probably think I am crazy, and you know what, it is crazy! Its is the craziest thing I have ever done! I am usually so guarded with my heart, and I just have to no problem giving it to him. And if I do end up getting hurt one day, well then, at least I had this experience.
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Maybe this time's a charm...
So update: I never did go out with D, and I am no longer talking to him. He was just way to aggressive and kept wanting me to come out to his house early in the morning, which is about 2 hours away, not counting rush hour traffic, and I knew he only had one intention, even though he said otherwise. My intuition just started kicking in that this wasn't right.
Now, I was ready to give up altogether. In fact, all the way to my grandma's house and back Wednesday, I bitched my mom that I was never going to find the right guy and that I should just give up. She said I need to just ask for what I want, and it will be given to me. But I just like what's the point.
When I came home that night, I went onto the site where I have an ad still up, and after sitting there looking at it for a bit, I went to delete it. Right at that time, I got an email from a guy. He said he liked my profile and wanted to know if I would be interested in talking. I looked at his profile and although there wasn't much information, and normally in that case I don't respond, but this time I decided to.
We started IMing each other on yahoo. His name is Phillip, he's 28 and lives in Mesa, and is a Lead Carpenter for a construction company. He was married for two years, divorced for two years, and has no children, and lives alone.
Our conversation just felt natural and relaxed from the very start. I know it might sound weird, but we just clicked. We talked for hours, about everything. What impressed me the most, is that he never once brought up anything sexual, and three days later, he still hasn't. That is so refreshing. The next day, he called me, and we just clicked even more. Great personality, great sense of humor.
What is so crazy, is that everything that I am looking for in a partner, he has the qualities, and more. When he talks about what he's been through relationship-wise, and the hurt and disappointment, its like he's reading a page from my own life. He is looking forward to being in a relationship, and eventually marriage and family, and we both want the same things in that regard. So far, everything seems great. My intuition isn't giving me any bad feelings, in fact its nothing but good. And we're definitely taking this one step at a time. But he says he feels a connection with me, that he has never felt before. And I have to say I feel the same.
Of course, you all know how jaded and cynical I can get when it comes to matters of the heart, and how guarded I keep myself. So I am on the lookout for red flags and warning signs, and that feeling in my gut that something is going to go wrong. So far, though, so good. Plus, I don't want to live my life always waiting for the bad to happen, so it makes me miss out on the good.
So tomorrow is our first date. His mom has to work tomorrow so he saw her tonight, and my mom said since she'll be sleeping all day (due to working nights), she would much rather me go out and meet Phillip, because she can't wait to see if this works out. So, we decided to spend the Sunday together and do something out of the ordinary, which is to drive up to Prescott (which is two hours north of us) and have a picnic lunch and check out the big arts and crafts festival they have going on there tomorrow. It gets us out of the heat (its been in the 100's here the past few days), and away from all the Mother's Day crowds at restaurants and movies. Plus, it gives us a chance to do something fun while having a lot of time to talk and get to know each other. So since I am driving (I need the van for my chair), I am going to pick him up at 10:30, then we're going to stop by the grocery store and pick up some lunch stuff to put in his cooler, and hit the road. I'm not sure when we'll be back, but I have a feeling its going to be a really fun day. And he told me to bring my camera so we can take pictures, which you know me, I love taking pictures, so I will have those to share with you tomorrow!
Wish me luck! Let's hope this guy turns out to be everything he says he is, and not another weirdo to add to my list!
Now, I was ready to give up altogether. In fact, all the way to my grandma's house and back Wednesday, I bitched my mom that I was never going to find the right guy and that I should just give up. She said I need to just ask for what I want, and it will be given to me. But I just like what's the point.
When I came home that night, I went onto the site where I have an ad still up, and after sitting there looking at it for a bit, I went to delete it. Right at that time, I got an email from a guy. He said he liked my profile and wanted to know if I would be interested in talking. I looked at his profile and although there wasn't much information, and normally in that case I don't respond, but this time I decided to.
We started IMing each other on yahoo. His name is Phillip, he's 28 and lives in Mesa, and is a Lead Carpenter for a construction company. He was married for two years, divorced for two years, and has no children, and lives alone.
Our conversation just felt natural and relaxed from the very start. I know it might sound weird, but we just clicked. We talked for hours, about everything. What impressed me the most, is that he never once brought up anything sexual, and three days later, he still hasn't. That is so refreshing. The next day, he called me, and we just clicked even more. Great personality, great sense of humor.
What is so crazy, is that everything that I am looking for in a partner, he has the qualities, and more. When he talks about what he's been through relationship-wise, and the hurt and disappointment, its like he's reading a page from my own life. He is looking forward to being in a relationship, and eventually marriage and family, and we both want the same things in that regard. So far, everything seems great. My intuition isn't giving me any bad feelings, in fact its nothing but good. And we're definitely taking this one step at a time. But he says he feels a connection with me, that he has never felt before. And I have to say I feel the same.
Of course, you all know how jaded and cynical I can get when it comes to matters of the heart, and how guarded I keep myself. So I am on the lookout for red flags and warning signs, and that feeling in my gut that something is going to go wrong. So far, though, so good. Plus, I don't want to live my life always waiting for the bad to happen, so it makes me miss out on the good.
So tomorrow is our first date. His mom has to work tomorrow so he saw her tonight, and my mom said since she'll be sleeping all day (due to working nights), she would much rather me go out and meet Phillip, because she can't wait to see if this works out. So, we decided to spend the Sunday together and do something out of the ordinary, which is to drive up to Prescott (which is two hours north of us) and have a picnic lunch and check out the big arts and crafts festival they have going on there tomorrow. It gets us out of the heat (its been in the 100's here the past few days), and away from all the Mother's Day crowds at restaurants and movies. Plus, it gives us a chance to do something fun while having a lot of time to talk and get to know each other. So since I am driving (I need the van for my chair), I am going to pick him up at 10:30, then we're going to stop by the grocery store and pick up some lunch stuff to put in his cooler, and hit the road. I'm not sure when we'll be back, but I have a feeling its going to be a really fun day. And he told me to bring my camera so we can take pictures, which you know me, I love taking pictures, so I will have those to share with you tomorrow!
Wish me luck! Let's hope this guy turns out to be everything he says he is, and not another weirdo to add to my list!
Wednesday, May 9, 2007
Why do I bother...
Sometimes I'm just not sure why I try. Sometimes I feel like what I am looking for is just some fleeting dream, a figment of my imagination. Sometimes I feel like what I am looking for, just doesn't exist.
But, I am keeping my head up. No longer will I chose to be cynical. Instead, I look in the mirror and tell the person looking back at me that you deserve better then what you've been given. You deserve what your looking for, and you won't settle for less. I have a heart full of love, and its a damn shame no one can see that, or appreciate it. All I seem to be good for to these people is a roll in the hay. I refuse to degrade myself to that.
There's a change going on here, in my outlook, in my disposition. And air of confidence, perhaps. Maybe even more an air of, "I just don't give a fuck about (insert issue here)". An air of "I refuse to settle, I refuse to let you treat me like I am not good enough. I refuse to come second best".
I just, no longer have the patience.
But, I am keeping my head up. No longer will I chose to be cynical. Instead, I look in the mirror and tell the person looking back at me that you deserve better then what you've been given. You deserve what your looking for, and you won't settle for less. I have a heart full of love, and its a damn shame no one can see that, or appreciate it. All I seem to be good for to these people is a roll in the hay. I refuse to degrade myself to that.
There's a change going on here, in my outlook, in my disposition. And air of confidence, perhaps. Maybe even more an air of, "I just don't give a fuck about (insert issue here)". An air of "I refuse to settle, I refuse to let you treat me like I am not good enough. I refuse to come second best".
I just, no longer have the patience.
Tuesday, May 8, 2007
Nothing worse then getting caught in a dust storm
Well, I tried to blog last night, but some reason it decided to eat my blog, instead of publish it. Of course, I know some of you have been asking how my date went yesterday. Well, D and I didn't get to go out. His car wouldn't start and it turns out he needs a new alternator. Then we planned to get together today, but that didn't work out on my part. So I mentioned getting together on Thursday, maybe meet somewhere for lunch, before he has to go to work. And if all else fails, Mindy and I are more then likely going to be going out to the nightclub he works at Friday night, which should be a lot of fun to hang out there and see him. So far though, we've been talking well into the morning, which means I am exhausted! I think I am getting too old to stay up until 6 or 7am, but I enjoy talking to him. And we seem to be clicking really well so far. So I am keeping my fingers crossed. As a lot of you know, I haven't always had the best luck, so maybe this time things will turn around. I don't know, I try not to expect too much nowadays, because I know my luck. I just take things one day at a time.
Nothing else new around here. I went out to check the mail earlier and I saw storm clouds and a hint of a dust storm in the distance, but figured I could make it down the street and back before it hit. Of course, as soon as I got the mailbox, that's when the dust storm hit me, and my face was pelted with sand and dust the whole way home. Needless to say, I need a bath!
Nothing else new around here. I went out to check the mail earlier and I saw storm clouds and a hint of a dust storm in the distance, but figured I could make it down the street and back before it hit. Of course, as soon as I got the mailbox, that's when the dust storm hit me, and my face was pelted with sand and dust the whole way home. Needless to say, I need a bath!
Saturday, May 5, 2007
I need ideas!
So I have a date for Monday with my consu-boy! To protect the innocent, I'll be referring to him as D (and also because, well, that's a nickname he goes by).
D works at a club in Phoenix and he wanted me to come out last night to see him. But I didn't have anyone to go with, and I wasn't going to go alone. Being a single women these days, you have to protect yourself, and take along backup. He even was willing to make the hour or more drive from where he worked to here at 2am when he got off work to hang out with me, he said he finds me intriguing and can't wait to get to know me in person. As sweet as that was, I told him let's have an actual date first.
Since Monday is a day off for him, we decided that's when we will get together. Of course, now comes trying to find ideas in which not only are we doing something fun, but we get to be able to spend some time talking and getting to know each other.
Here's my thought...meet for coffee, spend some time talking, if we hit it off, then go see a movie and afterward, if we still want to spend time together, we can have dinner. Not the most original idea, I know.
So anyone have any ideas they can throw out me? Granted its a Monday, so not too much going on nightlife-wise, so some of my ideas will have to wait until a weekend date, if we get to that point.
I still think this is funny how it all sort of just fell into my lap. But I am excited!
D works at a club in Phoenix and he wanted me to come out last night to see him. But I didn't have anyone to go with, and I wasn't going to go alone. Being a single women these days, you have to protect yourself, and take along backup. He even was willing to make the hour or more drive from where he worked to here at 2am when he got off work to hang out with me, he said he finds me intriguing and can't wait to get to know me in person. As sweet as that was, I told him let's have an actual date first.
Since Monday is a day off for him, we decided that's when we will get together. Of course, now comes trying to find ideas in which not only are we doing something fun, but we get to be able to spend some time talking and getting to know each other.
Here's my thought...meet for coffee, spend some time talking, if we hit it off, then go see a movie and afterward, if we still want to spend time together, we can have dinner. Not the most original idea, I know.
So anyone have any ideas they can throw out me? Granted its a Monday, so not too much going on nightlife-wise, so some of my ideas will have to wait until a weekend date, if we get to that point.
I still think this is funny how it all sort of just fell into my lap. But I am excited!
Friday, May 4, 2007
Once you stop looking....
That's when you meet someone really amazing....
So, as I have chronicled here, I'd been doing the online dating thing, but gave up on it after about a week. Too many weirdos and such, and I wasn't feeling it. I decided the best thing to do was get boys off my mind and focus on myself. When its meant for me to meet a guy, then we'd met.
So last night, I was on Consumating, as I usually am, and noticed a new member commenting in my latest thread. Looking at his profile, I saw he also was from Phoenix. We commented back and forth with each other in my thread, and I got an overwhelming feeling that I needed to send a note to this person. I talked myself out of it for awhile, after all, the guy has just joined the site that night, and I didn't want to seem like some crazy weirdo, or the Consu-welcome wagon. Plus, I told myself, I am taking a break from men.
But I broke down. I noted him. And much to my surprise, it turns out he's a pretty terrific guy! We noted each other back and forth for awhile, making casual small talk at first, and then asking getting to know you questions. From there we exchanged phone numbers and text messaged back and forth while he was at work, and ended up texting until 4am!
Not only is he intelligent, he's got a great sense of humor, he's compassionate (including not caring one bit that I am in a chair) and we're both looking for the same thing, relationship wise. We've got a ton in common. We just, sort of clicked.
Today we continued the texting, and even as I write this blog, he and I are noting each other back and forth on Consumating while he is at work. He said I am intriguing and he wants to definitely go out and we are actually discussing what we might like to do as a first date this week.
I guess its true, when you stop looking, that's when you find someone, or at least, find a potential date.
So, as I have chronicled here, I'd been doing the online dating thing, but gave up on it after about a week. Too many weirdos and such, and I wasn't feeling it. I decided the best thing to do was get boys off my mind and focus on myself. When its meant for me to meet a guy, then we'd met.
So last night, I was on Consumating, as I usually am, and noticed a new member commenting in my latest thread. Looking at his profile, I saw he also was from Phoenix. We commented back and forth with each other in my thread, and I got an overwhelming feeling that I needed to send a note to this person. I talked myself out of it for awhile, after all, the guy has just joined the site that night, and I didn't want to seem like some crazy weirdo, or the Consu-welcome wagon. Plus, I told myself, I am taking a break from men.
But I broke down. I noted him. And much to my surprise, it turns out he's a pretty terrific guy! We noted each other back and forth for awhile, making casual small talk at first, and then asking getting to know you questions. From there we exchanged phone numbers and text messaged back and forth while he was at work, and ended up texting until 4am!
Not only is he intelligent, he's got a great sense of humor, he's compassionate (including not caring one bit that I am in a chair) and we're both looking for the same thing, relationship wise. We've got a ton in common. We just, sort of clicked.
Today we continued the texting, and even as I write this blog, he and I are noting each other back and forth on Consumating while he is at work. He said I am intriguing and he wants to definitely go out and we are actually discussing what we might like to do as a first date this week.
I guess its true, when you stop looking, that's when you find someone, or at least, find a potential date.
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Glasses or Contacts?
I am finally feeling more like myself today!! I got some really good sleep last night and woke up feeling really refreshed. And even my allergies aren't acting up today!
I think I've found out my problem though...I need new glasses. Anything I try to focus on something; the computer, reading a book, even watching tv, I get a headache above my eyes and my eyes feel strained.
So I am wondering if I should get contact this time around, or stick with the glasses. So I leave to you, my friends...what do you think?
I think I've found out my problem though...I need new glasses. Anything I try to focus on something; the computer, reading a book, even watching tv, I get a headache above my eyes and my eyes feel strained.
So I am wondering if I should get contact this time around, or stick with the glasses. So I leave to you, my friends...what do you think?
Wednesday, May 2, 2007
I feel...off....
I woke up yesterday to the room spinning. That is just the most awful feeling in the world, being so dizzy you can't even sit up. I haven't had that in a long time. I was able in the afternoon to function and sit up, but I still had that weird lightheaded, floating feeling.
I woke this morning a little better, but still lightheaded throughout the day. I also felt extremely tired, my eyes felt heavy, like I could have just fallen asleep at anytime. I felt hungry and sick, but when I ate I still felt sick.
I am doing better tonight, my head doesn't hurt, and I am feeling more level-headed. I think some of it might be from stress and from lack of sleep. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and I've just got to let it go. I'm an over thinker by nature, and its just, unimportant. It's things I can't do anything about, I can't change, and its silly for me to even be bothered by it. But I always try to make things right, I always try to fix things. But sometimes what I want, and what actually happens, is different, and that's life. Worrying about it isn't going to do a damn thing. And life is too short.
Sleep has been a funny thing for me lately too. I've been so tired, yet I can't sleep. When I do get to sleep, I am having the most strangest dreams ever! Dreams so deep and involved that I wake up and wonder where the hell it came from! Is it possible to be exhausted from a dream? Cause lately I wake up from my dreams more exhausted then I was before I went to bed!
Other then that...things have been pretty good. I've been back and forth on the dating thing, whether I should keep an ad up I have one eHarmony, because I have gotten some requests for communication. So I decided I'll keep just that ad up, and see what pans out. I'm not taking an active role on there, if someone writes to me, then I will respond if it is someone I would be interested in. I figure, it can't hurt. I've got no other prospects right now.
I also had a great idea come to me for a book, it just hit me the other day and this entire scenario just started playing out in my head, so I quickly grabbed the laptop and started writing out character bios and back stories and started doing a lot of brain-storming. Now, I have always had trouble when it comes to writing an actual book, I do really well with poetry, and short stories. But I really feel like I could do this, and I think the story, if I can convey it, will be intriguing, mysterious, and suspenseful. This is something I have always wanted to do, write a book. Its going to take awhile, of course, but I've got the time right now to do a lot of writing, and I've got an excellent foundation to start on. And I know in my head exactly how I want the story to start, how I want it to end, and what to happen in the middle.
I'm also getting into my photography again. For awhile I was really into going around and taking pictures, whether it be of nature, kids playing, people, anything. I love pictures, to be able to capture a memory like that, to show people your view of life, from your perspective. I've always wanted to put together a collection of my photos. I am thinking of taking a photography class, to perfect my skills. This is just my time, to do things that I love, get back to hobbies that I put aside for one reason or another. I'd even love to get back into my music again.
So, this is turning out to be a good time in my life....
I woke this morning a little better, but still lightheaded throughout the day. I also felt extremely tired, my eyes felt heavy, like I could have just fallen asleep at anytime. I felt hungry and sick, but when I ate I still felt sick.
I am doing better tonight, my head doesn't hurt, and I am feeling more level-headed. I think some of it might be from stress and from lack of sleep. I've had a lot on my mind lately, and I've just got to let it go. I'm an over thinker by nature, and its just, unimportant. It's things I can't do anything about, I can't change, and its silly for me to even be bothered by it. But I always try to make things right, I always try to fix things. But sometimes what I want, and what actually happens, is different, and that's life. Worrying about it isn't going to do a damn thing. And life is too short.
Sleep has been a funny thing for me lately too. I've been so tired, yet I can't sleep. When I do get to sleep, I am having the most strangest dreams ever! Dreams so deep and involved that I wake up and wonder where the hell it came from! Is it possible to be exhausted from a dream? Cause lately I wake up from my dreams more exhausted then I was before I went to bed!
Other then that...things have been pretty good. I've been back and forth on the dating thing, whether I should keep an ad up I have one eHarmony, because I have gotten some requests for communication. So I decided I'll keep just that ad up, and see what pans out. I'm not taking an active role on there, if someone writes to me, then I will respond if it is someone I would be interested in. I figure, it can't hurt. I've got no other prospects right now.
I also had a great idea come to me for a book, it just hit me the other day and this entire scenario just started playing out in my head, so I quickly grabbed the laptop and started writing out character bios and back stories and started doing a lot of brain-storming. Now, I have always had trouble when it comes to writing an actual book, I do really well with poetry, and short stories. But I really feel like I could do this, and I think the story, if I can convey it, will be intriguing, mysterious, and suspenseful. This is something I have always wanted to do, write a book. Its going to take awhile, of course, but I've got the time right now to do a lot of writing, and I've got an excellent foundation to start on. And I know in my head exactly how I want the story to start, how I want it to end, and what to happen in the middle.
I'm also getting into my photography again. For awhile I was really into going around and taking pictures, whether it be of nature, kids playing, people, anything. I love pictures, to be able to capture a memory like that, to show people your view of life, from your perspective. I've always wanted to put together a collection of my photos. I am thinking of taking a photography class, to perfect my skills. This is just my time, to do things that I love, get back to hobbies that I put aside for one reason or another. I'd even love to get back into my music again.
So, this is turning out to be a good time in my life....
Tuesday, May 1, 2007
National Arthritis Awareness Month
My friend Ryan posted a blog this morning about National Arthritis Awareness Month, and I felt it was appropriate for me to do the same. Ryan suffers from the same thing I do, Juvenile Rheuatoid Arthrits, and we have both had it from a very young age.
For me, my struggle with arthritis started when I was 22 months old. My grandpa noticed that I was walking a little funny and my mom took me in for tests, the final conclusion coming that I have JRA. At first it was just in my knees and ankles, but getting strep throat caused the arthritis to spread to the majority of my joints and as the years went on, I progressively became worse and worse.
As a kid, I was made fun of constantly. Kids don't understand what arthritis is, all the saw was a girl who walked with slight waddle, and as kids do, they pick on the weak ones. I was left out of activities because I could join in, I didn't have very many friends, and I normally kept to myself. I felt more mature then the kids my age, in fact to this day I still do. Going through something like this, having to go to doctor's constantly, being on medications, you grow up quickly. You look at the world a different way. Life as a kid wasn't as carefree and fun, because I had to always be thinking ahead, and I never knew how I was going to feel.
As I got into junior high, I started coming into my own, and the silly, goofy girl I was at home started coming out more, and I became more comfortable with who I was. Kids still teased me, but I had become so used to it that the words and the stares just rolled off my back. I made friends because people started to see me, and they took the time to understand what I was going through. In high school I did things I never thought I would be able to do, like marching band, and I learned that as long as I didn't put the focus on my arthritis, and I showed people who I really am, they would accept me. And they did.
As an adult, the disease has gotten worse. I have joint damage that is irreplaceable, and as of two years ago, my knees finally gave out on me and I am not longer able to walk. I still get the looks, the stares, even the comments. People see a young woman in a chair and don't stop to think what might be wrong, or even ask. They just assume I am mentally handicapped. But again, I let it run off my back. People always compliment me on my positive attiude, but the way I see it, this is just a way of life for me. I have so much more freedom now being in a chair, that I really don't miss walking. Would like be easier, of course, but sitting around feeling sorry for youself, well, that's just letting the disease win. It might have taken over parts of my body, but I will never let it take over my spirit. Its just who I am, its apart of me, but it isn't me. It just makes me unique.
Arthritis is something that people don't consider someone my age or younger ever having. Its always considered an old person's disease. And unfortunatly, many people don't realize just how life changing this disease really is, and how much damage it can do to a person's body. It is truly something that is under the radar, that people don't really think about, but it affects millions, and there are so many people who don't even realize they have it, or take the time to get on the right meds and treatments to help them. Left untreated, this disease will cripple you.
I write this blog today to not make you, the reader, feel bad for me, or pity me. I never want anyone to do that. I write this as a thank you for all my family and friends who have supported me throughout the years, who understand there are days when I just need to rest, and days when I feel the best I've felt in a long time. Who never make me feel different, but treat as part of the gang. I know its not easy having to help me use my ramp to get my chair in and out of the car, and I know it can definitely be a pain, but I appreciate it the assistance from the bottom of my heart. If any of you were in my position, I would be there in a heartbeat to help. I just pray that you never have to go through what I do.
For those that are unfamiliar with arthritis, Ryan posted a great information piece on her blog that I will share with you. Perhaps this will give you a little insight into what we and millions of Americans go through on a daily basis.
Overview
Rheumatoid arthritis (rue-ma-TOYD arth-write-tis) is a chronic disease, mainly characterized by inflammation of the lining, or synovium, of the joints. It can lead to long-term joint damage, resulting in chronic pain, loss of function and disability.
Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) progresses in three stages. The first stage is the swelling of the synovial lining, causing pain, warmth, stiffness, redness and swelling around the joint. Second is the rapid division and growth of cells, or pannus, which causes the synovium to thicken. In the third stage, the inflamed cells release enzymes that may digest bone and cartilage, often causing the involved joint to lose its shape and alignment, more pain, and loss of movement.
Because it is a chronic disease, RA continues indefinitely and may not go away. Frequent flares in disease activity can occur. RA is a systemic disease, which means it can affect other organs in the body. Early diagnosis and treatment of RA is critical if you want to continue living a productive lifestyle. Studies have shown that early aggressive treatment of RA can limit joint damage, which in turn limits loss of movement, decreased ability to work, higher medical costs and potential surgery.
RA affects 1 percent of the U.S. population or 2.1 million Americans. Currently, the cause of RA is unknown, although there are several theories. And while there is no cure, it is easier than ever to control RA through the use of new drugs, exercise, joint protection techniques and self-management techniques. While there is no good time to have rheumatoid arthritis, advancements in research and drug development mean that more people with RA are living happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives.
Symptoms
Rheumatoid arthritis can start in any joint, but it most commonly begins in the smaller joints of the fingers, hands and wrists. Joint involvement is usually symmetrical, meaning that if a joint hurts on the left hand, the same joint will hurt on the right hand. In general, more joint erosion indicates more severe disease activity.
Other common physical symptoms include
-Fatigue
-Stiffness, particularly in the morning and when sitting for long periods of time. Typically, the longer the morning stiffness lasts, the more active your disease is.
-Weakness
-Flu-like symptoms, including a low-grade fever
-Pain associated with prolonged sitting
-The occurrence of flares of disease activity followed by remission or disease inactivity
-Rheumatoid nodules, or lumps of tissue under the skin, appear in about one-fifth of people with RA. Typically found on the elbows, they can indicate more severe disease activity.
-Muscle pain -Loss of appetite, depression, weight loss, anemia, cold and/or sweaty hands and feet
-Involvement of the glands around the eyes and mouth, causing decreased production of tears and saliva (Sjögren's syndrome)
-Advanced changes to look out for include damage to cartilage, tendons, ligaments and bone, which causes deformity and instability in the joints. The damage can lead to limited range of motion, resulting in daily tasks (grasping a fork, combing hair, buttoning a shirt) becoming more difficult. You also may see skin ulcers and a general decline in health. People with severe RA are more susceptible to infection.
The effects of rheumatoid arthritis can vary from person to person. In fact, there is some growing belief that RA isn't one disease, but it may be several different diseases that share commonalities.
For me, my struggle with arthritis started when I was 22 months old. My grandpa noticed that I was walking a little funny and my mom took me in for tests, the final conclusion coming that I have JRA. At first it was just in my knees and ankles, but getting strep throat caused the arthritis to spread to the majority of my joints and as the years went on, I progressively became worse and worse.
As a kid, I was made fun of constantly. Kids don't understand what arthritis is, all the saw was a girl who walked with slight waddle, and as kids do, they pick on the weak ones. I was left out of activities because I could join in, I didn't have very many friends, and I normally kept to myself. I felt more mature then the kids my age, in fact to this day I still do. Going through something like this, having to go to doctor's constantly, being on medications, you grow up quickly. You look at the world a different way. Life as a kid wasn't as carefree and fun, because I had to always be thinking ahead, and I never knew how I was going to feel.
As I got into junior high, I started coming into my own, and the silly, goofy girl I was at home started coming out more, and I became more comfortable with who I was. Kids still teased me, but I had become so used to it that the words and the stares just rolled off my back. I made friends because people started to see me, and they took the time to understand what I was going through. In high school I did things I never thought I would be able to do, like marching band, and I learned that as long as I didn't put the focus on my arthritis, and I showed people who I really am, they would accept me. And they did.
As an adult, the disease has gotten worse. I have joint damage that is irreplaceable, and as of two years ago, my knees finally gave out on me and I am not longer able to walk. I still get the looks, the stares, even the comments. People see a young woman in a chair and don't stop to think what might be wrong, or even ask. They just assume I am mentally handicapped. But again, I let it run off my back. People always compliment me on my positive attiude, but the way I see it, this is just a way of life for me. I have so much more freedom now being in a chair, that I really don't miss walking. Would like be easier, of course, but sitting around feeling sorry for youself, well, that's just letting the disease win. It might have taken over parts of my body, but I will never let it take over my spirit. Its just who I am, its apart of me, but it isn't me. It just makes me unique.
Arthritis is something that people don't consider someone my age or younger ever having. Its always considered an old person's disease. And unfortunatly, many people don't realize just how life changing this disease really is, and how much damage it can do to a person's body. It is truly something that is under the radar, that people don't really think about, but it affects millions, and there are so many people who don't even realize they have it, or take the time to get on the right meds and treatments to help them. Left untreated, this disease will cripple you.
I write this blog today to not make you, the reader, feel bad for me, or pity me. I never want anyone to do that. I write this as a thank you for all my family and friends who have supported me throughout the years, who understand there are days when I just need to rest, and days when I feel the best I've felt in a long time. Who never make me feel different, but treat as part of the gang. I know its not easy having to help me use my ramp to get my chair in and out of the car, and I know it can definitely be a pain, but I appreciate it the assistance from the bottom of my heart. If any of you were in my position, I would be there in a heartbeat to help. I just pray that you never have to go through what I do.
For those that are unfamiliar with arthritis, Ryan posted a great information piece on her blog that I will share with you. Perhaps this will give you a little insight into what we and millions of Americans go through on a daily basis.
Overview
Rheumatoid arthritis (rue-ma-TOYD arth-write-tis) is a chronic disease, mainly characterized by inflammation of the lining, or synovium, of the joints. It can lead to long-term joint damage, resulting in chronic pain, loss of function and disability.
Rheumatoid arthritis (RA) progresses in three stages. The first stage is the swelling of the synovial lining, causing pain, warmth, stiffness, redness and swelling around the joint. Second is the rapid division and growth of cells, or pannus, which causes the synovium to thicken. In the third stage, the inflamed cells release enzymes that may digest bone and cartilage, often causing the involved joint to lose its shape and alignment, more pain, and loss of movement.
Because it is a chronic disease, RA continues indefinitely and may not go away. Frequent flares in disease activity can occur. RA is a systemic disease, which means it can affect other organs in the body. Early diagnosis and treatment of RA is critical if you want to continue living a productive lifestyle. Studies have shown that early aggressive treatment of RA can limit joint damage, which in turn limits loss of movement, decreased ability to work, higher medical costs and potential surgery.
RA affects 1 percent of the U.S. population or 2.1 million Americans. Currently, the cause of RA is unknown, although there are several theories. And while there is no cure, it is easier than ever to control RA through the use of new drugs, exercise, joint protection techniques and self-management techniques. While there is no good time to have rheumatoid arthritis, advancements in research and drug development mean that more people with RA are living happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives.
Symptoms
Rheumatoid arthritis can start in any joint, but it most commonly begins in the smaller joints of the fingers, hands and wrists. Joint involvement is usually symmetrical, meaning that if a joint hurts on the left hand, the same joint will hurt on the right hand. In general, more joint erosion indicates more severe disease activity.
Other common physical symptoms include
-Fatigue
-Stiffness, particularly in the morning and when sitting for long periods of time. Typically, the longer the morning stiffness lasts, the more active your disease is.
-Weakness
-Flu-like symptoms, including a low-grade fever
-Pain associated with prolonged sitting
-The occurrence of flares of disease activity followed by remission or disease inactivity
-Rheumatoid nodules, or lumps of tissue under the skin, appear in about one-fifth of people with RA. Typically found on the elbows, they can indicate more severe disease activity.
-Muscle pain -Loss of appetite, depression, weight loss, anemia, cold and/or sweaty hands and feet
-Involvement of the glands around the eyes and mouth, causing decreased production of tears and saliva (Sjögren's syndrome)
-Advanced changes to look out for include damage to cartilage, tendons, ligaments and bone, which causes deformity and instability in the joints. The damage can lead to limited range of motion, resulting in daily tasks (grasping a fork, combing hair, buttoning a shirt) becoming more difficult. You also may see skin ulcers and a general decline in health. People with severe RA are more susceptible to infection.
The effects of rheumatoid arthritis can vary from person to person. In fact, there is some growing belief that RA isn't one disease, but it may be several different diseases that share commonalities.
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